Opinion: Why people hate Coldplay

Revised: May 18, 2014 by JB

What is the near-obsession this musical generation has with either loving or (mostly) hating Coldplay?  It’s not because Coldplay sucks, because honestly, they don’t.  It’s not because their albums are some of the worst of all time, because they aren’t (let’s be serious – do they really stack up against some of the worst albums of all time from other uber-popular pop groups?  No way).

And it’s not because they’re assholes, because very clearly they are not.   So why are they the most polarizing band of the last decade?


Getting old sucks

In 2000 Coldplay became THE band of the new millennium and finally, more than a decade later, their light is (slowly) beginning to fade.  The Coldplay marketing engine now hype their new releases more than even the fans do.  That’s an inevitable twist of fate that didn’t exist in, say 2005 when Coldplay could release an album of bedroom snores and have it go quad-platinum.   They’ve outgrown both their commercial and new fan peak.  As with most bands that merge into their late 30’s (Chris Martin is now 37) they lose that connectivity with the younger demographic range that drives pop culture through the universe.   37 year-old men and women do not drive pop culture – they mostly observe it.  It’s the younger generation that feeds it and we either jump on board with them or we simply shake our heads in disbelief.

Artistically great? – almost, but not quite

Coldplay is the Lebron James or Alex Rodriguez of pop music.   They want everyone to like them which makes 88% of the public hate them and they suffer from it.  But their problems begin artistically.  They have never released the epic album that sets them apart.   There is no Dark Side of the Moon in their catalog.  There is no Achtung Baby, no Nevermind, no Sgt. Pepper, no OK Computer,  no Sign O The Times, no Definitely Maybe – hell they can’t match the best 4 albums of R.E.M.’s catalog from the 1980’s/early 1990’s.  Pick your favorite (or what you consider the best) Coldplay album (let’s go with A Rush of Blood To The Head) for argument’s sake.   Does that album really match up to anything listed above?   Now we all look back at things more fondly as we get older and reflect.  I’m sure 18 years from now when A Rush of Blood is reissued full of outtakes it will receive that 5-star rating by the mags that place it on a higher pedestal than they did originally.   But while A Rush of Blood sold millions it did not breakthrough any new barriers – none of the Coldplay releases have.  A Rush of Blood did not create a new music renaissance like Nevermind did, or even The White Stripes.  It did not take Coldplay in a bold new direction like Achtung did for U2 and OK Computer did for Radiohead.   A Rush of Blood is a charming, melodic, truly outstanding pop record.  And that’s all it is.   We enjoy it.   But it doesn’t move mountains or break through walls.  You simply don’t see Thom Yorke bringing Rihanna into the Radiohead studio, and there’s a good reason why – because Yorke doesn’t need to.  I sense Chris Martin feels he has to, and that’s where things begin to go askew.

The one-man show blues

What I give Coldplay the most credit for is a self-acknowledgment of their place in pop history.  They admit they like to record sing-a-long tunes.  Martin has admitted he’ll never be known for his lyrics, just his melodies.  They freely admit they aren’t as good as Radiohead.   Amen, and thank you.   By admitting that they’ve tried to diffuse the tribe of haters at their front door who believe that most of the general record-buying public equates record sales with a reflection of the quality of their art.    Where Coldplay goes wrong is with their predictability.   They release an album every 3 years.  Each album has an entirely different set of colors on the cover to make you think something new has arrived but it hasn’t.  And it won’t.  They simply aren’t talented enough collectively.  Chris Martin is simply not quite in the same league as Bono, or Thom Yorke, or Cobain and most importantly there is no one else within Coldplay to provide that dynamic (often conflicting) musical tug-of-war that so many groups benefit from.   Some of the greatest Beatles songs were recorded when McCartney and Lennon hated each other – but who cares they hated each other.  Because of that hair-pulling relationship the Beatles made great music together that was superior than what their solo careers produced.   I sense that Chris Martin sorely lacks that in Coldplay.  One-man shows rarely succeed at the highest level unless your name is Bob Dylan, Jimi Hendrix or Jack White.  Martin needs someone in the band to step up and tell him to quit sounding like his best friend just died on every 3rd song.  He needs someone to step up and write great songs that sound nothing like his own.

Somebody send a dozen cookies please

Chris Martin writes excellent pop songs.   I buy their new releases eagerly.  However I listen more out of curiosity at their attempts to change direction artistically than I do in a belief that they’ve finally released their White Album.   I can absorb the disproportionate amount of popularity they’ve received.  I can absorb the innocuous presence of their music which by now everyone knows has been famously labeled by New York Times critic Jon Pareles as “the most insufferable band of the decade”.  And Mr. Pareles is right.  You listen to the big chunk of Coldplay’s catalog and you feel compelled to bake a dozen cookies and walk them over to their front door in hopes it will make them feel better.   Insufferability and innocuous tunes do not motivate a generation of music followers to greater heights – they just sell records and fill arenas.  In the long run Coldplay will be looked upon as slightly underrated by critics.  Coldplay’s legion of fans placed them on a pedestal that the quality of their music couldn’t quite live up to.   Instead of being indie pop icons like they could have been, they were able to cash in and inadvertently become a musical dartboard for millions during the last 12 years.  Sad, but true.

P.S.  And yes, I’ll be anxiously buying their next album – in about 3 years I assume  :-)



13 Responses to Opinion: Why people hate Coldplay

  1. someone says:

    Who cares if their music sounds the same? It’s the feelings that count when listening to music. And contrary to what most people think, I find Coldplay music very inspiring and uplifting. It all depends on how you listen to the song. People listen to the surface of Coldplay songs and then they’re all like “that was so stupid and depressing why can’t they do anything else?” Sometimes the most encouraging songs are the ones that let you recognize the hurt your feeling, but then they make you want to get out of the situation. And to the people who think that Chris Martin’s voice is annoying, shut up. Chris knows he’s not super talented, and he doesn’t try to claim he is. But part of the wonder of Coldplay is that a guy with a decent but not outstanding voice can sing such beautiful songs. And Chris isn’t running a one man show. True Coldplay fans have recognized that there are many non-vocalized songs on their albums, and even back-up lyrics by Guy, Jonny, and Will. Chris even said in an interview that he LIKED stepping back and letting there be more guitar-solos and drum fills because it made leveled out the band instead of placing one of the members on a pedestal. And Chris said that he didn’t care if people liked the band. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, and Coldplay wasn’t searching to win everyone over. I don’t get why people have to rip everything apart. I think it’s because they’re jealous they have nothing that they can connect to and inspire them.

  2. Quentin Driver says:

    I would agree with the last reviewer in saying that Coldplay “wasn’t searching to win everyone over.” When Coldplay first caught worldwide attention in the early 2000s, everyone seemed to labeling them the next U2, or Radiohead, etc. What people didn’t realize was that they weren’t. Even Coldplay knew it. They were, as was mentioned above, mainly a one-man show, and even their so-called one-man show (Martin) really wasn’t any Kurt Cobain or Thom Yorke.
    In the end, I think what I most appreciate most about Coldplay (and I believe one day most critics will feel similarly) is the fact that, despite not being as talented or creative as the Radioheads, U2s, and Nirvanas, they managed to show what a band with such limited musical potential can do with music. Not every great band has to change the face of rock, like some people think.

  3. Savannah Wilcox says:

    Coldplay is the best band in the world. No other band in the future and in the past has and will EVER met up to their standards. I feel so sorry for all you people that really believe this bullshit. I hope someday you will open up your eyes (and ears) and realize what you were missing in life.

    Coldplay isn’t trying to match up to your terrible standards (or anyone else’s) they are simple just 4 friends making music THE WAY THEY WANT (coldplay isn’t trying to please your stubborn ass.) You obviously don’t know anything about them if you think they are “trying” to be good.

    Every single world written in the article you wrote is complete bullshit and you my friend have wasted your time.

    go fuck yourself :)

    • twths says:

      Thank you for the comments Savannah. Please remember to buy a t-shirt also. :)

    • Madison Markel says:

      THANK YOU SAVANNAH! I couldn’t have said it any better myself!

      • Dfglntr says:

        Poor Savannah, you need a hug from Chris Martin. Your overt hostility saddens me. Go home and listen to your Cold Plate albums. Please.

  4. chillax says:

    Oh I disagree to everyone’s opinion, Coldplay still rocks especially in PH.I Hope the band will have a concert tour here sometime.I really love the beat of their new albums..

  5. Vickie says:

    I’ve never been a fan of Coldplay. Never will be. Their music is drawn out and boring to me. Just watched their latest video on vh1 countdown. Who the hell puts roses on a guitar and carries multiple instruments around?? Sorry Coldplay. Ya don’t impress me.

  6. Eric Wolf says:

    I’m tortured with Sirius radio all day at work. I kept on hearing this really irritating song about 50 times a day. It was really sucky and full of stupid lyrics and yodelling. I finally found out that it was Cold Play. OMG they suck. I would rather listen to Nickelback 20 hours a day for the rest of my life than have to listen to 8 hours of Cold Play.

  7. jp high says:

    I’ve always found coldplay to be the decaf version of radiohead

  8. Wilson says:

    I don’t fully aree with this article but then again I’m a huge Coldplay fan! I do very much like Radiohead and U2 is probably my 2nd favorite band ever! But even I know that Radiohead has made at least one AWFUL album(Poblo Honey) and U2 has had some tossers. Coldplay haven’t had a bad album yet and they probably never will! AROBTTH is a masterpiece, the melodies in that album are at full throttle with songs like “The Scientist” “Clocks” and “In My Place”! Chris Martin is a genius and I think he is more talented than Bono and Thom both lyrically and musically(including range). I love Bono but I don’t see him writing a song like “The Scientist” or “Fix You”! Same with Thom. I think Coldplay is the best of the best, best chemistry, best melodies and oh best frontman ever!

  9. Charlie says:

    I suppose it depends what you look for in music. Coldplay breaks no barriers and is bland. As an instrumental musician I listen to the groove and instrumental harmony more than lyrics so this is probably why I find them so boring. I wouldn’t find them annoying if they weren’t so hyped up and didn’t give my such an impression of having big egos. My life will be better when they aren’t so inescapable.

  10. CrouchingWeasel says:

    I hate Coldplay because they suck, really really suck They are THE most boring band I’ve ever had the misfortune to be subjected to. If one could liquefy 100% pure boredom & then drown to death in it, that is what it feels like to listen to Coldplay.

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